top of page

Day 17 of "Figuring it Out" - Those Days When Intrusive Thoughts Win

Updated: Sep 26

Kia Ora whānau, TIL (today, I learned) there's a hut in Tasmania called the "Kia Ora Hut" that a kiwi named - I think it was originally built for possum traps but I can't really find too much more information about it online, but I thought that was an interesting fact to mention today.




I am having one of those days where my intrusive thoughts are getting the better of me and I am trying so hard not to let them win. Logically, I know they're not real, but sometimes, they do get the better of us. A lot of thoughts running through me are: "what is going to happen with my health being the way it is? Are we going to be alright? Will I always have issues with my health or will I eventually get better? I should be able to get through this, I shouldn't have to rely on other people. I need to get better." And more thoughts such as "If so many people are leaving me on read all the time, am I the problem? Should I just disappear? Should I keep my blog? Should I try out more creative work? Or would people prefer it if I simply didn't exist? Or should I just not message any of my friends because I think I'm annoying them?" I've put them in italics to show that they are just merely intrusive thoughts, but some days, they win more than others. Again, logically, I know people care and are there to support me and offer help when it's needed (although, I'd rather be able to do things on my own, even if I do get too unwell with my health). And again, I know I have friends out there who would happily message back when they're not busy or want me to reach out if I was feeling this way, but I often don't, because I am scared of the repurcussions - like will they think less of me? Tell me to go away because I'm struggling mentally and physically? Tell me I'm a burden? I don't know, maybe not, but some days, the intrusive thoughts are really loud and I just wish that they would STFU. I want to fight them, I really do. This all feels a bit much to put out on such a public platform, but I think it's important to talk about the bad along with the good. I just want to know I'm not the only one who struggles this way. Something that really helps me with this is meditation and I am definitely aiming to keep my meditations sessions up. Anyway, on to a happier note.


This weekend, Luke and I stayed in a super cute Air Bnb in Drouin West, Gippsland for our official one year anniversary (it has technically been a bit longer, but the 30th Septemeber is the date we decided on) - see video below.



It was a bit weird using the bathroom without any blinds or foggy glass but it kinda felt like camping out in the middle of the wop wops. Yesterday, we got to feed their minaiture goats, and see their chooks and sheepies - too cute. The goats also jumped up on us when we had food from them and one even bit me - not in a bad way, it didn't hurt at all and I love animals so much. But it was a lovely experience getting to pet them and feed them. We also saw some Kangaroos at the back of the farm right on sunset coming out for grazing and a couple of rabbits. If you want to know more about the cottage we stayed at, flick me a DM on my socials and I can provide the link. They also provided a lovely country farm breakfast (bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes) so that was lovely to cook for breakfast this morning. See some photos below of Rupert the Kid goat who was super cheeky.



Last night we also went out for dinner at Brandy Creek Estate where we had a set tapas menu! Now, the first ever set menu we tried was at Maggie Beer's in South Australia so we had pretty high standards for a foodie experience. The Ultimat Tapas Set menu at Brandy Creek was $65pp with a minium of 2 diners. It consisted of some Turkish Bread & Sundried Tomatoa Spread, a Rocket Salad, Spanish Ham, Chorizo, Prawns (soz Luke for making you eat the food you despise), Pork Belly, Beef, and then Churros for dessert - pictured below. Also pictured - Mia the crazy goat.


We also had a Pinot Rose, a Rose and were offered a tasting of a Dessert Rose (because our churros took a bit longer to come out) - the Dessert Rose tasted like what the syrup in canned strawberries taste like. It was a really yummy wine but apparently, canned strawberries aren't a thing in Australia because Luke had no idea what I was talking about. So, next time we are in New Zealand, I am going to have to get him to try some so I can tell him that's what the wine we tried tasted like. See "here." The food was good but it wasn't amazingly good. The Turkish Bread and the Churros were definitely the highlights for me.


We also had a bit of a rough sleep last night as it was SOOOOOO windy. Like driving home today was rough because we were so tired, but we made it safe and sound and also stopped at Emerald Lake and saw Puffing Billy which was pretty cool - just as a bit of a detour on the way home.


This afternoon, we caught up on a few errands, watched some TV and freshened up and will be heading off shortly to have dinner with Luke's parentals tonight - I believe it's pizza night.


For today's question, I want to know, "what's your favourite animal?" Mine is a penguin, but I also like capybaras, and alpacas. It's really hard to decide because animals are such special creatures.


Anyway, that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed keeping up with ashey today (hahah funny joke).

Much Love,

Ash xx


19 views2 comments

Recent Posts

See All

2 comentários

Avaliado com 0 de 5 estrelas.
Ainda sem avaliações

Adicione uma avaliação
Convidado:
01 de out. de 2023

Keep on being you. Message me anytime for rants or anything. No judgement whatsoever.


Rodz

Curtir
ashey9111
01 de out. de 2023
Respondendo a

Thank you, that means a lot ❤️

Curtir
My logo
bottom of page