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A Tuesday Stream of Consciousness Blog!

Updated: Sep 25

Hi friends! Happy Tuesday. I kinda felt like writing a stream-of-consciousness style of blog because I haven't done one in a while and thought why not? I also have a lot on my mind that I kinda just wanna word dump out. If this blog isn't for you, that's okay, but I'd appreciate it if you stuck around and found something you were interested in because I am trying my hardest to build a wonderful community and share my thoughts.




It's currently 1:32pm on Tuesday afternoon and I'm halfway through making some chocolate chip banana bread (well I say halfway, but it's in the oven now and halfway done) so I'm hoping it's going to turn out well because I haven't baked in the new house yet and I think I said why in yesterday's blog you can read "here". Benji just got set off by a car alarm going off and he started howling at it, I managed to calm him down with some treats and now he's gone into the kitchen, he's probably interested in what's in the oven or it's warm or something. At least we know he's gonna be a good guard dog if we ever need it, we just don't want anyone to complain about his barking lol.


Is a stream-of-consciousness blog meant to make sense? I dunno, but these have absolutely no structure whatsoever and that's okay, we can be abstract. 20 minutes to go until I can check on my banana bread. I also started doing a vlog on Friday which I'm trying to finish off today but I just feel soooo tired lately, I think that's because shark week is right around the corner. Ugh, woman stuff. Also, the weirdest thing happened today, well in hindsight, it's not so weird, it just was something that happened. I don't like answering the door, let's be real, everyone knows that and it stems from that time someone tried to open my bedroom window at mum's place. Anywho, the buzzer goes off and Benji wakes up from his nap which is annoying and I think to myself wtf, why is someone knocking on my door now? We didn't order anything and then I'm thinking okay maybe Luke ordered something but he usually says if it's coming and when and so I waited like 7 minutes and then went down, realised I had to go back upstairs to get my keys, and then opened the door and there's a guy in a uniform with a green shirt and a clipboard and lanyard and he's probably been standing there about 10 minutes by now and I'm like oh god I wish I didn't come down but was like can I help you and he said oh it's such a beautiful day and tells me how cosy I look in my track pants and black t shirt and asks me if I'm working from home? This was about 12pm BTW so probably when a lot of WFH people are on lunch and I'm just kinda like yep and then he starts to go into his spiel and I just said sorry gotta go back to work I have no money for you and he left. But something felt EXTRA off about it - like I haven't seen door knockers around here and I know they're a common occurrence but he gave off some culty vibes and I didn't like that, like he was trying to make me feel comfortable by commenting on my appearance but it just made me feel weird.


Speaking of weird experiences, I also had another one yesterday (and yes, I could probably just be overthinking these things) but we went to a shopping centre yesterday to pick up a few things and Luke went to Kmart while I went into Woolies to grab some stuff and I noticed that watermelon was cheap, it said $3.50 but I failed to realise it said $3.5 per kg. Anyway, once I got to the self-service checkout, I scanned it but didn't realise you had to weigh it, so immediately put it back on, then it scanned, and then after I put it in my back, the checkout decided to play up so the lady comes over and says quite rudely, "do you have anything else" and looks and then says "well you clearly didn't weigh in" then watches the video back in front of me and went oh you did then glares at me and goes off. I just say thank you and move along but she was so rude about it. Yes, I made a mistake and rectified it. But also, did I just look like someone who was stupid to you? Sorry for being human. Does she hate her job? Or is she just having a bad day? Idk man. It just rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway, we got our watermelon at like $4.9 now and Benji got to try it and he loved it, so that made it all better.


I also want to list what things I'm grateful for today, I've been writing a gratitude list every morning for the past 127 days and no that's not a brag, just something I've been doing. Can you tell I feel a bit off today? Because I can, I can hear it when my words come out as I'm typing on the keyboard of my laptop. Anyway, the point was that the gratitude list helps me feel a bit better because it gives me more things to be grateful for and think about it, instead of just writing the same thing over and over again. And it was one of my 2024 goals for this year, if you'd like to read that you can do so "here". Anyway, what things am I grateful/thankful for today?


I am thankful for being alive, being able to walk, being able to see, smell, hear, feel, and taste. I am also thankful for a roof over my head in a safe-ish part of Melbourne, hot water, clean drinking water, food, a nice kitchen to cook and bake in, Benji my doggo, and Luke my partner. I am also thankful for my friends and family in different countries, nature, animals, sunshine, sunrises and sunsets, the weather getting a bit cooler, Autumn leaves, pretty colours, birds, wildlife, my blog being monetised, my social media growing (kinda), my health improving somewhat, my new psychologist, being able to have a platform where I can write like this, trees, the skies getting darker so I can do astro, my phone, my laptop, my camera gear, and my herbs that are growing. What thinks are you thankful for today? Let me know in the comments below.


I've also been reading this really good book called "Black River - Matthew Spencer" - if you buy it on Amazon through my hyperlink, I will earn a small commission but as soon as I started reading it, I WAS HOOKED. It's so good and I cannot wait to find out what happens. I think it's like the 4th book so I need to get onto reading because I want to read at least 20-30 books this year, especially when I have a bit more free time. I also want to do more freelancing and I know there's things like upwork but I wish more people were buying my products on the blog. Is there any other photos you'd like to buy? Or a different type of product? Would you like to buy an ebook if I wrote one? Let me know. Maybe I can do a poll at the end of the blog! Sidenote, I will also be doing a 2024 book review again like I did last year because I think that actually did well.


3:16 seconds until I can check my banana bread. Benji has splooted by the door, think he might be a bit hot with how long the oven has been on. Glad he's calmed down and gone back to sleep now because it means I can get stuff done and to all the people who said I can't look after a doggo, f*ck you, I can so.


Well, the banana bread is done! Wahoo, time to wait for it to cool down before I can try it but hopefully it's yummy. It smells nice. Can't wait. Ahh I feel like it'd go well with some vanilla ice cream. Damn, I should have put a little bit of cinnamon or all spice in it. Ah well, next time.


I wonder if I can find it but back in 2012, when I was in high school (year 12) I was actually quite good at photoshop and made this random photo of a ball. I think it's on Facebook still so maybe I can find it but I've been trying to re-learn photoshop because I've been paying for it for years and tend to just go with Lightroom because it's easier but I want to get back into trying out some surrealism stuff and expanding my skillset but it's a lot harder than I remember. Let me find that ball photo.


Ah, I have been scrolling for ages on my Facebook photos and I can't find it but basically it was a shiny blue circle shape in the middle and it was really cool. And the reason why I was taliing about it because I wanted to get back into surrealism stuff as I said before and have been watching YouTube tutorials on them but that sh*t is intense. What happened to all the simple stuff? I'm also kinda interested in learning a bit more about animation too. But here's one of my random photo creations that makes no sense. I took inspo from a Canva AI idea (left) and then here's my Photoshop rendition (it's a pretty shotty job if you ask me) in the middle, and the third photo is a photo I did find from high school titled the flying piano LOL.



What am I doing with my life? Is AI gonna take over? Are we really just living in a simulation? Are the conspiracy theorists right? Also, I'm hungry.


Here's some banana bread making process pics




I'm torn between two worlds at the moment and those are wanting to live on a farm with some alpacas and rescue as many animals as I can OR living close to the city so I can explore the city, go out for drinks and fall more into the "corporate word". I definitely want to focus a career around writing and my blog + content creation, it just takes a while AND for my whole life I've struggled with what I want to do. But those are kinda like dream life vibes.


OH MY GOD I FOUND THE BALL PHOTO and it has the caption "this took me two hours on photoshop, I was really bored at school ok" - what happened to my commitment and focus and drive?


Ball made on photoshop

This looks so pixelated but it was made in 2012 so photoshop wasn't as amazing as it is now back then. What was I talking about? Oh that's right, living on a farm with alpacas. I'd called it "Ashey's Alpacas" haha good branding amirite?


If I wrote a book, what type would you be most interested in buying/reading?

  • 0%A fiction alternative reality style

  • 0%A book about my dreams

  • 0%A children's picture book

  • 0%A recipe / cooking book

You can vote for more than one answer.


Alrighty I think that's all my brain wants to dump out today so I hope you enjoyed this really chaotic all-over-the-place blog. See you again soon! I'm hoping I can come up with an idea for this week's Freaky Friday Files because I didn't do one last week.


Much love,

Ash xoxo


Also, I can't forget the Benji tax!

Benji Bear



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lukemb17
May 07
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

I can comment as me now hehe ;)

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ashey9111
May 07
Replying to

Woo!

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