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ashey9111

Day 4 of "Figuring it Out" - Monday Misery

Updated: Sep 25

Kia Ora whanau, it's Monday and I am not even halfway through my shift at work today and let me tell you, after working the weekend and having a busy Sunday evening and a busy AF Monday morning with us being understaffed, I AM BURNT THE EF OUT. I also don't think I've been sleeping very well lately either, although I did manage to wake up at 6am this morning and get a morning walk in with Luke before work - that was nice because there was some cute doggos out for walks and a few cats in windows we could see around the neighbourhood. The cats mainly just wanted to have a staring contest with us though and were not interested in pets like the doggos usually are.



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Today, I'm really struggling. It's one of those days.


I don't know what to write but I feel like writing. My mind feels like a blank canvas in a totally white room with nothing going on while simultaneously going 100 million kilometres an hour - like it feels like SO many thoughts are racing but there's not actually any thoughts in there at the moment. Can you relate to this? I don't know if you can and I don't really know who my audience is yet so I'm not sure how to be relatable. Ugh. I just want to hit the backspace key and delete my ramblings. But I won't, because I feel like this is a good stream of consciousness, which writing out MUST be good for my mental health. I don't actually know if it is, but I'm going to tell myself it is anyway because it'll make me feel better. Can't you also tell I'm still shit scared of using a semi colon ; ? I don't know how I've got through life or university LOL.


In good news though, there are a few things that I have to look forward to this week. Tonight, Luke and I are going to make NACHOS for dinner (wew dance party), watch more Ahsoka, watch HYBPA (bc funny), and then I have tomorrow off (thank God) so I am going to relax, then go to a doc appointment and then do some photography in the evening if it's nice enough. I'm also seeing a friend Thursday night for dinner who I haven't seen in awhile and getting my hair cut and coloured on Saturday - which, for as long as it takes, I usually feel really refreshed and good about myself after getting done. Luke and I also usually do date nights Wednesday and Saturdays so we have those to plan and organise also.


In other news, I'm also writing a 30 things to do before you're 30 blog post (currently in draft mode) because why not and working my way at coming up with a content calendar for all my socials. It's still a work of progress but it's good to try! I'll get there eventually, I promise, it just takes me some time to work things out - like once part of my Masters thesis came to me in a dream (that feels weird to admit) but like the methodology that I used because I was so stuck on it at the time that I ended up dreaming about it until I got the answer. I'd really love it if my life's purpose could also be revealed to me in a dream? Kthx subconscious! I'm ready for it, hit me so I know what to do next.


I don't really know what else to write about, although some days just be like that, you feel numb inside and just want to go back to bed and sleep. I can't wait for bed. Today, it's one of those days where I'm just feeling a bit off mentally and often I shut down on those days as I don't always know how to express my emotions or let myself feel them. But I do know that I'm feeling quite down (depresso espresso mode activated) and unrelatable. No, unrelatable isn't the right word for it. But feeling like people don't quite get me. I'm not sure if it's really that people don't get me or if it's in my head but when I tell people I'm struggling and they empathise with an example, it hasn't been quite what I meant. I don't know. I think I'll figure it out eventually. I always do.


For today's question, I want to know what the last movie you watched was? Let me know in the comments below.


The last movie that I watched was 'Fantastic Mr. Fox'. This movie had really good reviews and a great story (it was written by Roald Dahl after all) but I really struggled with the movie. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't have the nostalgia factor from reading the book as a kid as I was more into his works like 'The BFG' and 'The Twits' OR if it was the animation (I don't think uncanny valley is quite right here) but it just gave me the creeps for some reason. Pls don't hate me for not liking this movie.


Anyway! That's all for today's Monday Misery.

Ka Kite, see you later alligator :)


Much Love,

Ash xx



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